Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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