he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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