she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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