At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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