I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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