I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
