So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
