Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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