I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
