At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize