i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
