4 words: hood of his car
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize