you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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