This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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