i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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