Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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