How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize