o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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