if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
