i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
