Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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