I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
