It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
