that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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