so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
