it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
