chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
