So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
