its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
