Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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