I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I CAN MOONWALK!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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