Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
