so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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