is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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