Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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