Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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