His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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