Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
