you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize