so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
