She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
