I look better un-naked...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
