if you like me you must not know who I am
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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