is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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