he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize