you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
