I wish I only lived at night.
this will be a night to untag.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
