oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I came so hard my ears popped.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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