Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
