My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
