i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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