someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
