he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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