Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
