U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
