I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
