as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
