guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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