I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
