I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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