hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
