Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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