Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
